


The Choice

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M, Magic Revealed, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-01
Updated: 2014-02-01
Packaged: 2018-01-10 20:22:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1164098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur lets his anger rule, until he finds Merlin in a desperate situation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Choice

Arthur knows. About the magic. Merlin told him three weeks ago, and since then Arthur has barely spoken to Merlin. And when he has it has been either direct orders or badly veiled jibes about Merlin's lies. But Merlin deserves it, how dare he treat Arthur like this. Arthur's hurting because of the betrayal, so Merlin will to. No one else knows. Well not officially. He's pretty sure that Gaius knows, and he wouldn't put it past Gwen or Gwaine to know. After three straight days of relentlessly drilling the knights, bullying anyone who petitions him and making Merlin pay for his sins, he has a thumping headache. Merlin isn't around for him to order to go and get him something. So he decides to kill two birds with one stone and head to Gaius' himself. 

He knocks loudly on the door.

"What?" says a voice. It's not Gaius', it's Merlin's and it's upset, anxious. He pushes through the door to find Merlin in the midst of chaos. There are books and jars everywhere and Merlin is leafing through a big book laid out on the desk. His sleeves are rolled up and his eyebrows are knit together worriedly. 

"Where's Gaius, I have a headache"

"You'll have to wait,"

"I am the king, Merlin, I will not be..." begins Arthur, but Merlin interrupts.

"Gaius is really really ill and I think I know what it is, but I'm not sure and even if it is what I think it is the cure is really difficult to make and I've never made it before and I'm not even sure if I have all of the ingredients..." Merlin's babbling and to his horror Arthur feels sorry for him, wants to throw an arm around his shoulder and tell him to calm down, and that it's okay. 

"... so please just go away Arthur." Arthur frowns at that. Merlin's dismissing him. In Merlin's obvious hour of need he doesn't want Arthur. The opposite, he wants Arthur absent. It hurts. It shouldn't hurt but it does. 

"Is he really unwell?" asks Arthur after a moment. Merlin's face crumples but he holds it together before he really cries.

"Yeah, yes it's really bad. So I really need to concentrate on this" But now tears are running down his face and he's wiping them on his shoulder, trying to read the book.

"Here, let me read it to you" says Arthur, walking over and almost physically shifting Merlin away. 

Arthur reads out a list of ingredients and Merlin starts separating them from the mess that surrounds them. 

Merlin starts cutting a root as Arthur starts measuring various powders. But Merlin still has tears running down his face and he's getting more and more upset. 

"Merlin, those slices are supposed to be millimetres not centimetres." says Arthur watching him. Merlin slams the knife down and sits down on a nearby stool burying his face in his hands.

"I can't do it, I can't do it." Arthur watches him for a second but then can't help but get up and go and place a hand on Merlin's shoulder.

"Hey, come on. We're making good progress. He's going to be alright"

"What if he's not? He's like a father to me! What if I can't do it? What if I can't save him?" cries Merlin between sobs. Arthur's heart melts. He knows what it's like to lose a father and he knows he's do anything to bring his father back. 

"Hey, hey no thoughts like that. Come on. Look at me! Look at me! Yeah. Now if you cut those pieces in half they'll be fine, and then we're more than half way there according to the book. Come on." He's trying to look positive and jostling Merlin and it's beginning to work. Merlin's more sniffing than crying and he's nodding a little too. 

They finish preparing the ingredients and then Merlin brews them together, his brow knit with worry the whole time. He's still anxious after they have administered the tincture to Gaius, who does look deathly pale lying on the bed. His hair sticks to his face, which is covered in sweat and he breaths in uneven, laboured breathes. But after half an hour his colour returns and his breathing evens out. Merlin looks at Arthur with gratitude and Arthur smiles in relief when Merlin confirms his fever has gone. 

Merlin goes to show him out, handing him a small vial for his head as he goes.

"Arthur, thank you for today. I don't think I could have done it if you hadn't..." starts Merlin. Now the crisis is over Arthur's bitterness finds itself surfacing. 

"Yes well, Gaius is a good physician. I'd be sad to lose him." Merlin is a little put out but continues.

"I know, but you really helped me..."

"It had nothing to do with you, Merlin" says Arthur, looking Merlin dead in the eye then walking out and halfway along the corridor before he stops to think. Perhaps that was a little harsh. Merlin nearly lost the man who was a father to him. He's unsure as he walks quietly back. He should just go to bed and forget about it. Merlin doesn't deserve an apology. At least he isn't sure he does until he's standing inches from the door, his hand raised to tap on the door with his fingers. He leans down, looking at his feet wandering what he's doing there. Until he hears a faint, muffled crying. It's coming from the other side of the door. Just the other side of the door. If he's right Merlin is sat up against the door the other side crying. And Arthur made him cry. 

He hasn't let himself think that before. Hasn't let himself imagine what his anger is doing to Merlin, so busy has he been with venting his own bitterness. He kneels down, his forehead leaning against the door.

"Merlin? Merlin." He stands up and tries the door. It won't budge to begin with but then it does as Merlin gets up and out of the way. Inside Merlin has stood and is staring at his feet with red puffy eyes and a runny nose.

"Please, Arthur. Please forgive me. Or send me away or execute me. But I can't go on like this. It's breaking my heart. I can't..." he says meekly. Arthur feels like he's seeing clearly for what seems like a long time. And he has a choice. A very simple one. Merlin or his own bitterness. He can forgive Merlin or he can go on punishing him and drive him away or insane. 

"Merlin" he says firmly.

**Author's Note:**

> So I decided to stop threatening Merlin's life and threaten Gaius' instead. As always virtual cookies for comments.


End file.
